I have never been so scared in my life... never. I screamed, I cried and fought.... I truely thought that I was going to lose the boys n the fire and I COULD NOT save them. Even now, where as they are perfectly fine I am not. How can I justify being a parent when I am not able to protect them? Am I doing the right things with their lives?
I know that I have scared many people - firends, family and even just aquaintances.... but I can't out run the reminded I carry with me - my cast. The constant invitation for any person to ask me what happened and though I just use the short answers ... "I shattered my wrist", "I jumped out a window", "There was a fire" .... I eventually talk and over and over again the reminder comes and the emotions follow.
I now james is not comfortable in the second story apartment but i think it is a step towards moving on. I know that if the fire had not happened we probably would have ended up in the top floor due to the noise factor but now it comes down to do we take the risk of being on the second story or does the fire win and rule our lives completely?