I have talked about it in the past but this time I mean it. I am doing it.
Yesterday, I went to see 8 Mile and loved it... yes, mainly because Eminem is so damn cute and built like an SOB but the storyline was good and the music rocked. I have a strong love/hate relationship with this type of movie. Yes, it is entertaining and fun but it also has one of those 'messages' that makes you reevaluate your life and that sucks.
I was shooting pool afterwards with J when I becmae quite interspective and quiet. I told him that I was not happy with my job and career path - it wasn't where I planned to be. His response was .. "oh, I hate it when you get like this because whenever you do, that is when my life begins to suck."
I am not sure what to do about him saying that .. kinda pissed me off but maybe I should pay no mind. We talked about it a bit further and realized the differences we have about 'jobs'... he belives that a job is a job (something to do to make enough money to support your hobbies and lifestyle.)I believ that a job is part of ones identity and ones choice is a basis for happiness - I mean, you have to spend most of your time at your job.
I am going to publish my poems... I have a title all worked out and I am just going to print some copies up andget them bound at Kinkos. Then I am going to try and sell them though some of the smaller local bookstores... I aleady have one place ready to read them. Then I will find a way to get published. I know that maybe this would be something that J wouldn't want but it is time for me.
I am an idealist. I truely belive that I can support myself on what I write... he thinks that I should just work my normal job (forever) and write on the side to gain twice as much money ... but that would be time consuming and not the dream I want to live. I would keep my job till I could support myself .. but I want one of those lives where I set my own pace and hours. Unlike - money is not the end all to happiness for me... I actually want to be happy.
I have editing to do tonight on the first 10 pieces and touch ups on a few more. Wish me luck ....