�My God! You sure have gotten fat! You had better start dieting. Your figure is disgusting�
What the hell was that! It definitely ruined my day and made me angry. How dare she! Especially since I weigh less now then I did when I saw here last. I know that I have gained about 10 pounds recently (with returning to school � I find my eating schedule off kilter and without having someone to cook for �besides the kids- I tend to eat junk) but still. Who the hell says that to their child? It still is bugging me � and it is Monday.
Bear tell me to just let it go because he thinks I am beautiful as I am but I don�t want to let it go. I don�t want to consider my mother�s harsh words motivation either� I am not unhappy in my skin (though I do want to get rid of the last 10 pounds that I put on and get back to my standard weight). It is just insane. Now there is part of me that wants to �show her� and part of me that wants to �ignore her.� It is frustrating to decide which one to go with. I know that I should lose more but when you are not truly unhappy with how you look it is hard to stick to a �diet plan� or even a thought pattern on how to eat.
Damn it.
Almost makes me wish I was depressed or something � just enough to affect my eating pattern. I went to the store yesterday and bought groceries and planned out what to eat. I was good�until about 2pm today when I suppose I should have had something low-carb here to munch on but instead went to the vending machine and got a Reese�s Peanut Butter cup packet. Wow! What willpower! What great strength! What a loser.