Breathing....
2004-06-10 - 10:36 a.m.

I can breath.

I went to the UW and got some money (a short term loan on my financial aid for fall), bought my chemistry books, reconnected my phone and got a daycare for K-girl for 6/21-8/13 for only $60. Yeah me! I am so glad that she is here with me. She is incredibly helpful andwell behaved - I just wish I could be doing more for her but all in all, I think that we are all is a good place. I can restock the kitchen on Saturday (and have plenty of food till then) Still have not gotten C's child support but hey, can't expect everything.

J and I fought last night about housework. It is a stupid and silly arguement and alot of it is my fault. There is no reason I can not ask him to do things when I need them done but my brain has been conditioned by my mother to work on the theory of "I shouldn't have to ask." Growing up I was expected to recognize what needed to be done and automatically do it. My 50's Housewife Training. If I spotted a basket of laundry- I was EXPECTED to fold it and put it away no matter what. I guess, in times when it feels like life is slipping away from me, I revert to the psycho control of my mother to handle things. Grrr - it is an annoying habit. Because without him being there I would not have went out last night to help Skink or gotten to go to the movie with K-girl. We just have to find the balance... I have to ask him to do things that he was not trained to 'see' and he has to tell me when I am slipping into a 'moody-pouty-moment.'

Skeeter is doing well right now - he is adapting to the new meds (including the steroid again) and he is still my happy, perky kid... except near bedtime :) but that is normal two-year-old behavior. PJ is getting restless but then again - he is four and has way more energy than I do. It is exhausting ot just WATCH him play.

I start class on Monday - Chemistry. Grrr. Atleast this time it is an 8 week class instead of three weeks and Skeeter should not have to go to the doctor for another month (Yeah for Interm Maintaince!). It is not going to be easy but then again, my life seems to just operate better when I am trying to do 500000 things at once. Slowing down to 'smell the roses' tend to let me wander and then I manage to do nothing.

I can breath.... again


Help us stay afloat during Leukemia treatment... All help is appreciated more than you will ever know. Thank you!

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