I want to talk about families....
This is a strange topic for me. I was adopted at birth into a wonderful family with a Mom and Dad and an older brother (also adopted). I have a 'second family' that has adopted me as one of their own in my teens giving me two sister to call my own. I have a wonderful family of friends that I adore and now I have a family of my own and all that comes with it.
Only with the start of my own family did I truely find idenity. My eldest son looks like me. For the first time in my life I resemble someone instead of not matching any old family photos. I will never know if I have my grandmother's eyes or my mother's smile. It makes it hard growing up - if you let it. But now, no one would ever not assume that he is mine.
My family has been more than suportive and giving in this time of need (I hate that phrase). And they are waiting to hear what else we need or what else they can do for us. It is humbling and comforting since in the past we fought and were quite nasty to each other. Having a family of my own changed that too. They have been good to me. I timidly thank them for everything - when they respond that "that is what we are here for." My brother awaits what we need and so do my aunts and cousins... they are just waiting to help.
My Second Family - located out in Boston and Madison.- have also been good to me. Through the last 8 years they have provided the support I needed and the love I was looking for when things were rough with my own family. Their kids are my sisters as my kids are their grandsons... we have formed with ourselves a new and complete family. They have welcomed my husband and become to him a father and mother. With them I gained my first sense of idenity (pre my own kids) and I am thankful for that.
My family of friends is probably the ones I rely on the most - -on a day to day basis. My girlfriends have provided for me a forum to discuss life and love - this is especially key due to my lifestyle differences to all of them. I was the reckless one. I was the carefree one. I had kids first.. and kids out of wedlock. I love my firends and I miss them when I can't see them. I think that all of us think of each other as family. Even as they have added boyfirends and husbands - we just keep growing into one happy family.
My husband's family on the other hand is a bit harder to understand. There doesn't seem to be the caring that all my 'families' have shown. Through, they have not fought like my family and I have ... yet there is no giving there. And truth be told ... he does not give and maybe that is why they don't give. This is so aggrevating for me... especially now after the fire. We are living with his father and we provide all our own need (food, diapers, toilet paper, ect....) and yet, with us being there his bills have increased slightly and he has asked that we compensate him some little bit. Oh!
Right now this is a problem for me... in saving for the new place and the expenses that will occur when we move - I would prefere not to ask more of my families, if I can help it. I amlooking for something - anything from his. It is like nothing happened for them... like nothing as changed and we justed wanted to move in with his father! This has made me realize that I am lucky for my families - all four of them.
I love you guys!