Poem - 3
2002-11-08 - 10:00 a.m.
With guarded emotions he never speaks
Saving all that childish behavior for me.
I was the one who talked my heart...
as he stayed quiet.
So, I guess I'll stop.
Words, I find comforting
A sort of commitment, a guarantee
Something tangible that I have strived to have
but with him ... the commitment is unspoken
It is raw and unassuming.
There is desire in his eyes when he sees me
There is a wanting in his touch
There is a soft gentleness to his kisses
But is that enough?
Am I naive in my encounters with him?
Am I the one being taken - not loved?
Am I the foolish child?
Am I the princess or the whore?
And what fool am I to demand love?
Is there nothing good of pure sex...
or , as a woman, am I designed to
want and need a declaration of intent.
It is no longer just sex ... it is love.
But
It wasn't always this way.
When first we began this betrayal
It was rough and raw - leaving me
uncertain and undermined.
I felt used
I felt broken
I felt as I have felt before.
Within him, though, I saw salvation.
I stayed with him.
He could right the wrongs that have been done..
This I knew.
He could be for me what I needed him to be
This I knew.
In time spent - we have grown
into something completely different
Something that makes me powerful
Something that makes me feel complete.
Something undeniable...
yet unnamed.
As our bodies tangle in heat and sweat
I close my eyes when I touch him.
For he is slowing taking away the pain that
I have harbored for a long time.
For that alone I am thankful
I let him right the wrong that have been done.
But I must relax and trust him - like no other.
He seems to understand my fears ...
kissing me softly on my shoulders
As he erases my scars.
I hope that he knows
That I am thankful
That I enjoy his time
That I love him so ...
that no response is necessary
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then || now
