Here is an old poem I have never published here yet...
3-10-02 My fingers grip the back of his neck His soft blond hair is soaked with sweat. As he makes love to me I shouldn�t be here � But I can�t resist him. This is the last time � We agree It is better this way � We agree The feelings will fade � He believes His sweat My Hands His warmth My lips His touch My Kiss His love My love Our bodies never part
but it is somehow fitting. .. and plus, I really like that one. A few of my poems have been chosen to be published, if I want them to be in a magazine... I am not sure if I am ready yet to let them go...though many people think that they are good. I am not sure that I am ready to release my emotions and my life into print. I still think that the electronic media has a forgiving nature to it - more than print.
Here is what I wrote last night. I love the fact that I can be so easily inspired though I am not sure that all the inspiration is appreciated by everyone else. I thank the one who insires me to write because writing makes me happy and confident in myself. I hope that I do not change the way that he thinks about me through my writing and I hope that he realizes that there is always a little something added to make the emotions stronger. I think that finally he understands me, the true me.
1-26-03
He told me that I smelled good
And that was what I was waiting for.
It justified everything
The time spent getting dressed
And fixing my hair just right
And of course, the perfume.
I knew that going back would be hard
But it felt so much like home,
So safe, so warm and besides
It had him in it.
What was better than that.
Though it would not be easy.
We had already started the dance
That felt so familiar, when I ruined it.
I told him that I missed him
He said that he missed me too.
But I could not let it rest.
Finally, it was time to tell him everything.
Whether it was the brandy or
My heart that held the spotlight
I will never know.
But all the ugly truth exploded.
In a soft voice, between tears
I apologized, I ranted and I exposed myself.
He told me not to be sorry
Not to worry
That he loved me.
It was more than we had ever talked
About feeling and us.
It was so difficult
But refreshing as the guilt
And hidden emotions
Left my lips.
I kept touching him and whispering�
I am sorry.
There was a softness to his eyes as
He looked at my brokenness
I was in pain and though it had
Been hinted to in the past now
It was real to him.
And then, he touched me.
The touch washed over me �
Cleansing my sins away
As I melted.
This was my unquenched desire
His touch, his kiss, his moans.
We found us again
Maybe it was the last time
Maybe not.
He told me that he needed me
As much as I needed him.
I know that there is someone in his life
But I can not be without him
I will take what I can get
Any small leftovers � of hers.
We are connected, he and I.
I am pretty sure that my friends just read this, nod their heads at the screen and go on with life. I like it that way. I just want to give a glimpse into my life for them ... save time when talking :-)
-techdragon (the technicolor dragon)
p.s. dreamspeaker.... I agree with you and enjoyed your rant, though I do not find you ammoral at all... and I have kids. http://dreamspeaker.diaryland.com - i will unlink you if you want but I think that your rant is totally cool and refreshing. I love you!