I still refuse to comment on the war due to my own stupidity or ignorance. J is always watching it - and letting the kids watch it (pet peeve #210). And he can name all the place and weapons and divisions. I feel like some little idiot because I don't know these things. All I can focus on is that there are tons of people of all nationalities there now after having to say long teary good-byes to the people they loved. They might die.... Not all of them but so many. I don't know where the troops are or what their tactics are. I don't even know who exactly are the people we are killing. It is fucked up in my opinion and I don't want to talk about it.
This is sort of a cop-out but hey - I will be spending a lot of time this weekend doing this.
Topic of the Day: Cleaning
I told you this wasn't going to be pretty.
My mother is a cleaning nazi - but I guess people who are stay at home mom's cane be. But she took it to another level. Everyday day she picked one room to clean from top to bottom. I mean on hands and knees scrubbing the molding and woodwork. Cleaning under all the furniture and all the windows inside and out. My brother and I were made to help - to HER degree of satisfaction. It was a universal punishment that has never left me. How can one's life revolve around cleaning. ... What suckage. I never understood WHY it had to be some clean that you could truly eat off over every surface of the house at any day or time.
On record to current date: I have never lived in a place that my mother would consider clean. No matter the time and effort - it did not matter.
I am cleaning the rest of the fire stuff - alone. I started last Saturday and still have about 8 loads of trash to take to the garbage down stairs. I can't seem to get J to remember to throw stuff out. There is a shelving unit from like December that is just taking up space in our closet - need to go. I am in a throw away mood. I am finally emotionally ready to go through all the fire remains and toss. Some of my most precious stuff - from my black truck that C saved for me is okay but the early stuff (from when I was in grade school was at the bottom and it had molded to badly that I have to let it go. This sorting is hard because the majority of the stuff in that apartment was mine and it is all gone. Part and pieces from my life - childhood up are just gone.
I then get to sort out clothing and toys for the boys and myself. They have so much stuff and a lot of it is out grown and broken. I am going to have a ton of stuff to send to goodwill when I am done with their clothes. I also have some donated clothes that I can get rid of since I now have a pretty okay wardrobe. This part isn't bad - just time consuming.
I work in the AM from 8:30 to noon but then am coming home for an afternoon cleaning session. I hope at least Dreamspeaker comes over Saturday night a little bit. I canceled my Mage game this week - much to everyone's disappointment but a little to my relief. I just didn't have time this week to prepare - with work, doctor's appointment and personal issues going on. Nothing horrible; there are only so many hours in a day and I am always short a few. :-)
I feel better though. I really do feel better. Thanks to all of you who care. You make my world go around.
Love,
-tech