I am feeling a bit suspended and I am not sure why. I have been relatively good lately - I have even lessened up on my worrying. But there is this nagging thought in my head..."what of the future". I guess that part of me still thinks he may change his mind, even though he has not shown any signs of it. I am just to happy to believe that this can all be true. I am trying hard to let myself sink into it all - the feelings, the emotions and the security - and little by little I am succeeding.
I have already become a custom to his body sleeping next to mine and the way he moves in his sleep. I am comfortable with him being in my apartment when I am not there. I am being spoiled by all the things he does for me. I hope he realizes all of this and I hope that I am at least moderalty successful in showing him how I feel about him.
He managed to survive a long weekend with the people I call family and in some "not so keen" conditions I might add. I am thankful that he was with me and I appreciated all of his help. I spend alot of the past few days angered at others but truely happy with him. It was a bit trying on my soul but it made a world of difference to have him there with me. I love him very much.
I know that we are taking it slow but that does not always stop the questions from surfacing and sometimes I let them get the best of me... for that I am sorry.
I have come to realize why I have been slow to update - ---- - well, it is because there are alot less trouble in my life that I have to work out in my head or "on paper". I am a lot mroe stress-free and also a lot happier. I guess you have to blam him for me not updating but trust me... I like the change.